You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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