so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize
