Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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