ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
