Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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