Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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