What a fucking waste of an outfit
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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