I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize