when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
