I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
