Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
