Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
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i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
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Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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