Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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