I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
