I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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