Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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