I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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