Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
