Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
