you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Randomize
