we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
