Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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