Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
