Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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