Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
