I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
