I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
