I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize