none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
