areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
