mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
