it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
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He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
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We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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