I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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