I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Bring me that man meat
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
