Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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