Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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