i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
