He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
