do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
