it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
