I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
