We're like a lot better than the average bears
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I am naked and annoyed.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
