Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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