Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
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My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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