Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
