I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
