he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The adults are the big ones right?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
