i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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