Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
