Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
my poor anus
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
