butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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