There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
