wrigley field is MILF paradise
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
