this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
