I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
