those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
