I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I want to fling myself into the sun
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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