god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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