I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
