i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize