i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Randomize
